Myopic Musings - II

After the hiatus from sarcasm and as a contradiction to the sign off in my previous post, I've decided on Myopic Musings - II. I'm not sure why its myopic or why one should even refer to anything as a musing, but either ways, the point is that I decided to and its not really your choice!

My love and fascination of the Indian Railways, mixed with the agony at the very thought of how an organization as complicated as the railways even manages to function despite being so disconnected, disoriented and several other "dis'" and "dys'", is indeed ironic. My very first post Numero Uno was about a railway experience. Had this been a movie by Goutham Menon, it would probably be tagged as "Another story is railway line".

Last sunday morning, I had to book tickets for a certain special train (read as train that was launched to cover additional passengers who crop up during a particular season). Since this service was launched only on that day, the train was not listed on the online booking service. Hence with no other option I cajoled myself and my almost jalopy to get the ticket booked at a nearby reservation center.

I've been to this reservation center in the past, and it is generally a pictorial representation of complete chaos - people trying to maintain something close to queue, stray reservation forms with footprints, an old dirty fish tank (the fish in the dirty seemed quite content, probably bachelor fish), agents with bags slung across with multiple forms etc. And this is on one of the off days, sunday mornings are usually worse than the above description (thank god, the regular trains are available online!). With above image in my head, I headed towards the center with a trepidition almost like that when I have no other option but go shopping (Nothing can match up to that fear and arachnophobia). But to my pleasant surprise, there was almost no crowd, much lesser than what would be there on even the so called off peak period.

I meandered through the sparse crowd, before heading off the ATM to withdraw money, only to realize that they now accepted credit card payments. Irony, it seems always trails me. Its quite awesome, how the railway booking office has evolved with flat screen computers and even a flat TV outside each counter. These TVs flash advertisements ranging from the IPL to Cosmetics to Social Responsibility. Quite fascinating. Curiosity got the better of me and I quizzed the clerk behind the counter if the crowd was less only today or numbers had falled since the inception of online reservation. Indeed, the latter was the reasoning I got.

Anyways getting back to the point of the TVs. The bottom half of the screen had something like a search engine for trains with fields to enter the From and To location, and had a field to indicate the number of tickets available etc. I was only ruminating as to whether I would see what was being entered in the clerks system on this screen, the clerk responded saying - "Saar, you can see there when ticket is being booked". Awesome! I waited for the data to flash on the screen. It seemed to take for ever, when the clerk asked me for the card to complete the booking. Apparently the machine was not working and hence never showed the information. For a few fleeting moments I was almost in complete awe of the system and yet somehow all that came crashing down in a fleeting moment.

Its ironic indeed, that a system as chaotic as this could be as awesome as it is...

The Railway Sandwich

The sandwich is the railway they say mighty fine,
They give you bread and stale cheese, almost every other time...

That's just an improvisation of a song I learned at school which went something like
The shoe shop in the army, they say mighty fine,
You ask for number seven, they give you number nine...

Well, this one is not a piece on the catering in the Indian Railways. Personally, I think they are awesome and they make the best Masala Dosa's after MTR. The coffee though has enough room for improvement. In any case kudos to Railway catering, you guys are awesome!

But, I seem to have a problem when it comes to the actual train itself. In my very first blog, or virgin blog if I may say so, I had done a bit on the railways and how chaotic and insane travel can be. Well, I guess it happens to me, only to create an opportunity to be amazed at how crazy the railways could be despite being one of the many wonders.

Taking Murphy's laws into consideration, I booked for a train that leaves for Chennai at close to midnight from Bangalore, to buy me enough time to reach the station in time. But its Murphy's law and I managed to get off work early, get a bus in time to station and ended up reaching the station an hour prior to scheduled arrival of the train, let alone departure.

Laloo and his group of people in the Railway ministry have done an awesome job in the last few years to make the Indian Railways a spectacle. With all due respect to their past innovations, one of their more recent innovations, I feel, went overboard.

What's the innovation? Voila! Its a side middle berth. In a hasty move to generate revenue, the Indian Railways implemented this. The person who gets the lower middle berth has to sit on the larger side of the coach segment. In other words, the side that previously accommodated 3 persons, would now accommodate 4.

Its an idea. But it has certain flaws. Firstly, the berth seating 4 was originally designed to seat 3 person. I haven't taken into account the size of the persons, still it is horribly uncomfortable. Secondly, the persons sitting in the "four seat-er" pay just as much (In some cases more,if booked in tatkal; Don't get me started on that) as the persons sitting as 3 persons in the 3 seat-er. Unfair? Mr. Yadav, If you plan such crappy innovations, see to it that there's going to be differential pricing for these seats.

Next, the ridiculously insane side middle berth - The Railway Sandwich. It completely reminds me of an open coffin. I never thought I'd see the day when I had a chance to be in one and know how it feels. Open it out and you will realize that you either need to be an acrobat or an amoeba to fit in.

But, thankfully, this "innovation" by the Railways has been done away with it because of I cannot guess why. If ever there was a fine line between between cost cutting and being outright cheap, this move certainly erased it. The TTR that day on the train should be thanking his stars that the innovation was done away with and he did not have to face the ire of a passenger who booked in tatkal paying extra only to get the Railway Sandwich, which thankfully he did not.

Numero Uno

Disclaimer: This is my first attempt at a blog. So all you critics out there, please adjust maadi J

The Indian Railways is the world’s largest Rail network. The suck on timing, the seats are terrible and the toilets are the worst. The employ over 1.5 million people and it is almost impossible to figure out whom you have to meet in order sort out an issue you faced or even lodge a complaint.

I traveled by train to a place called ‘Tirunelveli’ located I don’t know where in Tamilnadu. Before this journey, I had traveled by train almost a year ago. This experience was a bit off the usual in terms of the goof ups by the Railway system.

In a past experience, I had boarded the train and realized that the seats were not numbered! The situation was chaotic until a few of us managed to figure out a vague sequence that would have made Newton proud…

Anyways, let me get back to this sojourn in the latest overnight journey on the train. As Bangaloreans, one anticipates traffic wherever you go. Therefore we left early for the railway station. But as a consequence of Murphy’s Law and one hell of a driver we ended up being at the station an hour prior to scheduled departure. The wait for a train can be interesting when one notes the gamut of sizes of both passengers and their luggage. Trains chugged in and out of Cantonment Railway station and the people scurried along like rats. I reconciled to the fact that it was a rat race to catch this train as well…

Soon enough it was our chance to show our skills in carrying the luggage and running the race to the coach. As we were traveling by an AC coach, I did not expect too many goof ups on the railway side. But, they are never short of reasons for criticism. My seat was number 64. I went counting 58, 59….62! To my utter dismay, there was no seat beyond 62!!! Seeing the incredulous expression written all over my face, the lady seated at 62 informed me that her seat was 63. The railways had goofed up yet again! The online reservation system had not been updated of the coach being changed for this train. Eventually the TTR informed me that I had my seat relocated. Thankfully the railways wouldn’t have to face a source of renewable energy- the anger of the travelers.

The eventful start ended without further drama at Maniyachi from where we boarded a passenger train to Tirunelveli the next day at 11 AM. This journey is a unique experience for the city bred. There are no cushioned seats, the fans wouldn’t work and even if they did it wouldn’t make a damn difference in the sweltering heat. Personally the best way to enjoy this kind of a trip would be sitting on top of the train. Not a feasible way out. Next best thing?? The door. The breeze is fascinating and the scenery even better.
The joy of standing at the door is far superior compared to the comfort and the cozy travel in the AC compartment. I’m sure my long durations spent at the door bugged my relatives, but this is something I didn’t want to miss.

Call it outright denial of the sad state of the railways or a case of some positives outnumbering the negatives. The Indian railways despite being almost a form of paid torture to some is still fascinating. Each experience is different. It is definitely a test of endurance as to how much one can tolerate and adjust yet trying to be happy at the end of it all. It’s an Indian attitude after all - Please Adjust Maadi…